Deception in Politics


Well, we Iranians are all for it!  I mean, in “Iruni baazi”, we would love to jump in for any discussion, and throw in a good word of wisdom or an unrelated example or simply ask a totally out of whack question.  We are also polite enough to handle it gently by responding “oh yes, absolutely… but…” and if it is informal or hostile we can also raise our voices, resort to name callings, etc.  But hey, it is not ONLY Iranians, this is the human nature, everyone does it, and in fact, as long as general subjects are concerned, it is very much better than the so called structured lifeless technicalities like we are talking about nuts not bolts or I am specialized in right ear problems, ask someone else about your left ear!


So, I like this writing style, and I thought I would give it a shot to use it for the man in the office, some Iranians are so proud of.  I mean Mr. George W. Bush or the junior as they say or the Bush son different than Bush father if you prefers.  No, I am not going to use other names, and I prefer you not read it than blame me for being so rude!  In fact, I’ll use this new line of reasoning, even the same words to the extent applicable, but I’ll try to fit them where they belong!  So here we go:


What does collective folly look like? Last year 'millions' of  Bushies laid on their comfortable couches to watch Fox news or listened to Rush Limbaugh on their way to work to express their execration of a United Nation that had a second thought about giving the most popular SELECTED president  a carte blanch to invade Iraq. Human reasoning and logic were manipulated as far as they could be so the populace could blame Sadam for the deception, as if he had a voice in the Security Council in the first place.

Admittedly it failed to change the UN decision, but firstly, democrats would have been just as unsuccessful, and secondly, the crime of the UN was simply that it was United Nations, not United States, and does not massage the people with the cloying promises and populist flattery that are the specialty of Republicans, and to some extent Democrats for that matter. Most of these Americans in any case had never thought of the UN as a legitimate organization except, of course, for a place to ridicule other nations when they vote anything against Israel. Ironically, the UN vote was destined for these very people and their youths, and tax dollars not to be wasted in vain.

I'm a trifle disappointed (livid) with Republicans for their relative indifference to (not giving a hoot for) the environment. They care more it seems for a comparatively trivial matter like Bush (isn't there a song, "If you knew Bush like I know Bush"?, with a cheeky, jazzy rhythm?).

Just to settle the Bush issue (and the endless whining of the Republican Party, who have shown what unintelligent and unprincipled scoundrels they are) once and for all: Mr. Bush, or the former president Prince Bush-ol-Saltaneh, is well-off, doubtless haughty like his (frankly more principled) relatives his dad and his brother who got him Florida, and have a good life. He eats well, speaks nonsense, has his shirts cleaned and ironed. So he spends his years in the office and runs it like his estate with all his cronies in the oil business: there are better places wherein one may be forced to run his estate, including his own ranch.

The Baath Party, for example, gave no such option to Sadam’s son in law who would have been considerably less trouble. Bush entered the political gambling war and came out empty handed. What would he have become without the war he fought to bless Iraqis with his appointed governing council?  How could he justify turning the biggest surplus in American History to the biggest deficit without the justification of a war or two for that matter. He is a man of theatrical gestures and populist bombast, denouncing and threatening even as he causes more violence and terrorism by his agitation. He is an evil man, and he lives, Astaghferolah.

Let me clarify this: The Bush dynasty, even his father they now call more intelligent, and the dyslectic Bush turned America to the most hated nation on planet earth. But they hide behind the firewall of hatred for Sadam. Blame is a bag of beans and we keep shifting this way and that to escape excessive criticism.  (That is indeed true)

A former colleague, one of the countless descendents of Grand Old Party, had an annoying habit in our office of ridiculing Clinton, perhaps to show me he was conservative, brutal, careless, or dyslectic. You were an oil man for goodness' sake, not a cowboy. And I always thought, what did grandpappy Reagan do for America, other than creating the biggest deficit America had come to know at the time? What did Poindexter, Oliver North or William Casey do for America? More to the point.  What wrong to America did they do that Bush did not do more and worst?


That's settled then.

Now onto nuclear power: It is a solid fact that America sits on the largest arsenal of nuclear bombs. It is also a historical fact that America is the only nation on planet earth that has used its nuclear power, not by accident, but by devious intent against humanity.  Furthermore, the Pentagon has a project “working on ways to fight wars without U.S. forces ever leaving America. Or the media either.  Space weapons. Total satellite coverage. Stay at home and press buttons. Kill everybody and never see a body. Only in America.” 

I say Americans are the most peaceful people on earth, but it is not a joke, just follow their orders, and you will be a good fellow or an “ally” as they call it. And, again America being a land of equality, some allies are more equal than others.  It is also a fact that most Americans believe in God. It is only in America that you can believe in God and especially love Jesus, and be proud to drop nuclear and conventional weapons on innocent people.  It is also only in America where Jesus takes care of your sins so that you won’t have to worry about it.  Just keep going, if it becomes too much that even Jesus fails to handle, you can simply be reborn to keep it going!

Do we want to be like Palestine, a country with a land but not a nation, where they are beaten like hell by their Israeli cousins who sit on nuclear weapons?  The peace loving cousins never actually used their monopolistic atomic war heads, but sure scared the hell out of the whole region or the world for that matter, and still do so that no Arab nation can even raise its voice against its brutality.  What makes the Palestinians think they are respected for their being treated like animals by their Israeli cousins? By that misery, people must have more respect for Palestinians than for Israel.  Well, maybe they do, but remember the wrath!

But this business of Islamic Bombs is all propaganda, some may say, nothing but exaggeration and prejudice. You are right, I say. You are right, but I would add, it is right-wing propaganda, so a verbal chocolate, exhilarating, soothing and brimming with joy for American public to fear mullahs. Now if you don’t fall for this, it would turn out to be nothing but a pack cheap, dirty lies as it were the case against Iraqi people for WMD, and the so called Road Map to peace.  Americans still remember our forefathers’ motto:  An Indian is good only when he is dead.

The bottom line on this whole issue of Iran’s NPT hoopla is simply double standards at all levels.  It simply boils down to this:  Either all parties, including US and Israel sign all treaties for Non Proliferation and adhere to them or the world will not be safe where every nation is chasing the devil to protect itself from the so called preemptive war.


Mohamad Purqurian

September 30, 2003